My Hungry Soul Feasts From a Buffet of Pain
by Denkriston
Summary: Do you like angst stories? Me neither. To me, they all sound like this. As flammable as this piece is, please refrain from utterly immolating it. Please don't hurt me.


**My Hungry Soul Feasts From a Buffet of Pain**

By Denkriston

Author's note: My most sincere apologies to those I offended. **Any views the characters express, explicitly or otherwise, are _not_ my own.** Don't write letters. Also, to all the other writers, please stop writing angst pieces. They really suck. Seriously (they all sound like this).

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As soon as Link awoke, he wished he hadn't. Tears, like the blood of a virgin betrayed, streamed down his cold, scarred visage. Meanwhile, blood, like the tears of a virgin betrayed, streamed from his mangled, scarred wrists. Unfortunately, it was not enough to bring about the end of the boy's miserable life. His mind wanted to give in because it was easier, and all his friends from the Kokiri forest (the ones who wore make-up and all black, at least) encouraged him to do so. His body, however, was an uncooperative bitch. The wounded hero sat for a moment in a pool of blood, tears, and self-pity. Hero. How he despised the word. He hadn't chosen to be the hero, the Hero of Time. He did not want to give up his life for the Princess, for whom his love would remain unrequited. He wished, rather, he could be the Hero of Darkness. But he hated the word, "Hero," as he had previously reflected upon. He decided upon "Slave of Darkness" instead, but then quickly changed his mind and came up with "Slave of Angst." The word "Angst" drifted through his mind. He removed a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote the word down. He would write a poem about it later. He sat up from his seat upon the cold slab of marble and sulked his way out of the Temple of Time, hanging his head very low as he walked.

He came to the decimated ruins where Hyrule Castle Town had once stood. Moans from tortured souls echoed through the dreary landscape. _If only they felt my angst,_ he thought, _then they'd really have something to moan about_. He fumbled through his black, bloodstained tunic and produced his ocarina. Putting the bitter mouthpiece to his thin, hypothermic lips, he began to play the Song of Dark. Overcome by anguish and despair, the monsters collapsed. Before continuing on, he leaned down and kissed one of the corpses on the lips, because it seemed like a bizarre and disturbed thing to do. As he was leaving, the tears in his eyes blurred his vision, resulting in him tripping on the downed bridge and landing in the moat surrounding the walls. He wished to sink beneath the cold, dirty water and let it infiltrate his lungs, but it was too shallow to drown. Depressed, he climbed out of the frigid stream and onto the grass of Hyrule field. Peering into the reflective metal of his sword, he noticed the water has washed away his heavy eyeliner. He considered using blood instead.

Just then, he heard the familiar sound of hooves on dirt. _Ganondorf_, was his first thought. He closed his eyes and dropped to his knees, awaiting his gruesome fate. When nothing happened he looked up to find not the terminator of his utter torment, but his delusional steed, Epona. He frowned, finding her musculature to be strong and developed, rather than feeble and atrophied, as he had hoped.

"Please, trample me." He pleaded to the horse, "The pain burns violently in my weary heart." But then, he heard a voice not his own,

"Link." He looked up at the speaker, finding a dark figure standing there.

"Sheik!" It was the only one who could sooth his wounds, "Sheik, I love you!"

"I know. I love you too."

"Then why can't we be together!" Cried Link.

"Shut up, pansy." Sheik snapped back, "It will never work, because I am completely a man and not a woman and not a woman in man's clothing. And even if I was a woman in disguise, whether or not I used magic to further conceal my identity would be totally irrelevant."

"Then, what do we do?"

"End it all."

"End it?"

The words had barely escaped Link's lips before the Sheikah swung his short shank, penetrating the Hylian's coarse throat. Warm, colorful blood streamed from the gory wound like water from a fountain. Link made a small gagging noise before collapsing on the ground in a puddle of blood. Sheik hacked up the hoofed quadruped before turning the blade on himself. His lifeless body collapsed on top of Link's. The two corpses rested there miserably ever after.

The Bitter End.


End file.
